Forgive my absence. I've been away from my laptop for one reason; laziness.
For reasons I cannot comprehend, I've been avoiding doing what I love the most; writing. Today is one of those days I'd usually be in front of my PC, coffee in hand, and tons of ideas pouring out of me.
Not today.
Today the sky is gray, the wind is blowing slowly but steady, it seems that it's going to rain, and my heart is aching. I miss having a cigarette between my lips. I quit smoking almost a month and a half ago, and I did it because I couldn't live like that anymore; smoking my way out of trouble, trying to solve things with the smokey flavor of cloves between a black wrap. The brand D'Jarum had become my best friend in time of need when I didn't want to pick the phone up to call someone. The old man at the smoke shop knew me, and always had a pack ready for me to buy. But it wasn't the smoke that I wanted, it was a solution that I desperately needed. I was trying to fix something that didn't wanted to be fixed. It was like trying to fight, swimming in the ocean, knowing any moment now I'll drown, but after a long battle, the ocean won and I drowned. Funny thing was, drowning was not the end of it. My body would float eventually, I will be discovered, and the world will know the truth.
But was it really the ocean that drowned me, or that did I just gave up too soon?
