Things has change in the past year. Some people has left my life, and others have come to surprise me. I wish I could verbalize all my feelings, and for people to understand them.
There's an emptiness in a corner of my heart. Its hard to realize how a good friendship can be ruined by sudden events that are out of my hands. Its even harder to see the reality you want so much to hide. Opening my eyes to whats in front of me had shook me in many ways I never thought possible. Caring for someone who dosen't care anymore about you can make you realize how blind one person can be, or want to be. Theres nothing worst than a blind man who dosen't want to see. And the worst.part is that you know, but you dont want to admit it, because you actually and truly care. The thought of it makes your whole body to tremble with the reality of the situation. And our human condition is always afraid of acceptance. That might be the reason which makes us vulnerable to this type of bullshit. Because thats what it is.
And no, you didn't read wrong.
I did said bullshit!!!!
The good part about all this is what comes after that slapping. Yeah, just after having that wall of reality crashing on top of you, you realize how dumb you were. Unless you're masochistic, and then theres no more hope for you.
You realize you can never force yourself for people to like you, or for them to care. This has to come naturally. If they don't care, then is not worth it. Period!!
Recent events had opened my eyes. And after dusting myself off, I told myself never again!!
The sad part: its going to be hard to break the habit. I may not be as strong as I want to, right now, but, eventually, I'll be.
Shameyn <3.
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