Wanting a new kind of life

When I was a child I used to think of being someone else just for fun. I pretended to be a princess trying to escape the inferno I was living in, and that someday I was going to be free. Other days I pretended to be in another part of the world, living in the one in my head and that no one could hurt me. Funny thing was that every time I pretended to be someone else, I kind of believe that someday it might come true, cause I never liked myself. Even growing up I wish to be somewhere else, living a different life than the one I was in. Probably a phase every teenager goes through, I thought. Turning 18 and moving away from home to college was the best thing that what was going to happen to me, I told myself. But no. It didn't. I did turn 18 and I did moved away from home to share a room with two sisters who were as different as oil and vinegar. College was so liberal and even when I knew I had the greatest opportunity to get an education in the most prestigious college in the island, my heart was not in to it. I didn't want to study something that wasn't making me happy.

Hell, I didn't knew what I wanted to study. I took advice from everyone I knew and made a few more mistakes, just because of it. I took classes on nursing, business administration, natural sciences, and a few others. I even graduated from basic cosmetology and made a good amount of money in one year, in a small room my husband and my mother helped me built. I had fun and I was my own boss. But not even then I wasn't completely satisfied with the life I had. There was something in me that wanted to get out and I had no idea how to communicate it with the friends I had. Even my family had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life. I wanted to write, and I wanted to expose my feelings,
and all my dreams into the world, in my own words.

Now that I have the opportunity to write what I want, I do it. I have finish the first book I ever wanted to publish and as of now I'm waiting to get an agent to make it a reality. In the mean time I continue to write and develop all the ideas that are stuck in my head, waiting to be read.

I still want a new kind of life. A life where I can be an Author instead of a new writer, and to be recognize not on how many books I have sell, but on how my stories have grown on the readers and how much they love them. Even blogging has become a new way for me to express what I have inside. And I kind of like it.

Wanting another kind of life is not that bad. If it is to make things better, than it would be worth it.